It’s been a rough couple of days. Why is it that everyday I feel more competent at what I am doing but every day I feel more and more shut down by the ship environment?
I have no intention of sugar coating this experience, however, I do want to be realistic in assessing my emotions. It’s tough. The sleep deprivation, feeling distrusted or disrespected, feeling backed into a corner or unsupported. 
I have to keep telling myself that I am worthy of this experience. I have to tell myself that I belong here even though unintentional micro aggressions might make me feel the opposite.

I am practicing mindfulness. I am practicing listening and compromise. I think the best thing for me to do is to shut down my ego and listen and learn as much as I can. The trick is to not lose my sense of self along the way. 

Just finished my first midnight-noon shift. I was able to learn how to describe cores, including taking apparent dips, and how to discern between primary structures and drilling-induced structures. It sounds like there won’t be much structure description after this location, because we are going somewhere new to look at the incoming plate. I anticipate there will be a lot of writing and interpretation ahead. I will say, my first shift went very quickly. Reminded me of my days waitressing with all the different tasks and interesting things to do.

Now, headed to the gym and the sauna. However, the number of stairs on this ship are keeping my legs REALLY fit (I dislike elevators).

The food is so unique and wonderful. I never know what time it is, or what type of meal I am eating (can it truly be considered breakfast if eaten at 11pm at night? What about dinner at noon?) 

let’s see what tomorrow will bring. 

After 27 hours of travel I made it to my hotel in Sendai. I was so elated and exhausted, once I entered my room I collapsed and started crying. Navigating immigration, customs, the monorail, a transfer to a JR Tokyo line and then finally onto the Shinkansen, I kind of can’t believe I am here. 

The streets of Sendai are beautiful at night. There was a peacefulness to it. Soon I will get up out of the coziest bed (my Japanese hotel is SO MUCH NICER than US hotels… and way cheaper), to walk down to the corner 7/11 for some noms, then walk a couple blocks to meet the team who I will take the taxi to the heliport with. I’m exhausted but relieved and super proud of myself. Out of my comfort zone for sure. 

Woke up at 3:00 am. 4 hours of sleep and I don’t even feel tired, what is that? I slept in Phoenix to catch a 4am shuttle to the airport. My flight boards at 6:30 but anxiety has me reeling. It’s been a very long time since I went through customs and I’m stoked to get another stamp for my passport (I only have a single stamp from a trip to Fiji ~8 years ago). 

I have a million questions swirling in my head. What will the Haneda airport look like? Will it be easy to book a ticket on the Shinkansen? When will I get to my hotel in Sendai? What am I going to eat for dinner? How jet lagged am I going to be? What will the ship look like? 

Everything about this experience is new. What does your brain do when it anticipates something that it has no context for?